A truth you keep hearing when people talk about their 20s is “you’ll lose friends, not everyone sticks around”. Losing a friend back to unfamiliarity makes you realize the joy they brought in. You’re suddenly back to the life where they didn't matter or exist and you lose the shared joys.

I think the part in a friendship where you’re both slowly drifting apart but are in proximity due to circumstances hurt the most. The transition is unhurried and deliberate. It goes from calling each other nicknames to not greeting once. It may seem inconsequential in a relation estimated by both to last a lifetime, but many of these changes occur without notice. Eventually, maybe one or both realize what is happening and share a tacit agreement: this is how we are now. There is no coming back to the initial charm unless one of them speaks up. With how the world now acts and teaches you to act, the possibility is far-fetched.

One day, life puts you in a situation where you’re no longer bound. That agreement is no longer something you have to keep in mind. your heart may ache to go back to how things used to be but you think your mind knows better and no one tries any further. you hug them goodbye, not knowing when the next conversation will be or if there will be one. this is the most painful ending to a relationship.